- Me: Hey close the door
- Parent: *leaves the door open 2 centimeters*
- Me: *dying whale noise*
Why do I have followers I’m not funny and I can’t photoshop
I wonder if 16 and pregnant will spin off into another series call 32 and grandma.
- teacher: you will be assorted into groups
- me: oh ok
- and then i work with the other kid who doesn't talk much and we get to know each other and find out we have similar interests and vow to talk more and then we start texting each other and it becomes the highlight of our days and every friday we go to see that genre of movie we both love and then one day after said movie we get caught in the rain and we can't catch a taxi so we end up having to run to a bus stop but it's raining really hard so they take a newspaper from the side of the street and drape it over our heads and it's shitty and not even working but we're laughing so hard we don't even care and when we finally get to the bus stop we are panting and laughing and wet and then they turn to me and smile and i smile and they take me by the cheeks and murmur some inside joke and we laugh and then we kiss and then eighty years later we're happily married with 2.8 children and all our dreams came true but oh fuck we forgot to hand in our group Science project didn't we.
once when my doctor asked me if i was sexually active i threw up my arms and shrugged and said “well I haven’t had any offers”
she didnt think it was very funny.
IF YOU COME INTO MY MOTHERFUCKING BEDROOM AND MY MOTHERFUCKING DOOR IS CLOSED I CANNOT BEGIN TO IMAGINE WHAT WOULD MOTHERFUCKING POSSESS YOU TO LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN WHEN YOU MOTHERFUCKING LEAVE MY MOTHERFUCKING BEDROOM AGAIN LIKE DID SOME MOTHERFUCKER DROP YOU ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKING HEAD AS A CHILD OR ARE YOU JUST A MOTHERFUCKING IDIOT